Friday night, against my better judgment, we took the kids to a funeral home to pay our respects to the mother of my husband's aunt. She was 94 years old. I did not know her well; I probably only met her 2 or 3 times. But, because funerals, in my opinion, are more for the people who are left behind, we went to support the family which includes my husband's aunt's family who we do know very well.
We had to take the kids because there was no one available to watch them for us. As I said, I did not know the deceased well, but I do know her daughter, granddaughter, great-grandaughter and great-great granddaughter well, so it was not a situation where I would have been excused from attending the viewing. We probably should have gone to the funeral on Saturday, but we had other plans.
Anyway, the long and short of this entry is that R made some "friends" at the funeral home. He was a bit shy, at first, but he loves to color, and the new friends invited him to color. And then coloring turned into hide-and-seek, and then a game of "walk" chase (b/c there's no running in funeral homes!) As a quick aside, I feel really disrespectful writing about my kids "playing" at the funeral home, but at the time there were only a few family members present, and it really did not bother anyone... so that's my justification.
At the end of the evening when he was leaving, R said to my husband (but within earshot of all of the funeral home visitors), "That was fun, daddy! When can we come back again?"
Friday
WOHM vs. SAHM: The 2007 Pew Survey
Like clock-work, every few months or so, the issue of "moms working (or not working) outside of the home" surfaces in some way, shape or form. I took out the word "new" before "way, shape or form" because usually the information presented is not "new." Personally, I dislike the way the issue is framed. Whether it's framed as the media-dubbed "mommy wars" or as "WOHM v SAHM" or as a "debate" about whether moms should/could/would work outside of the home, one thing that gets lost in framing the issue is that some women do not have a choice of whether to work or stay home. I have to admit, however, that I've been sitting here for quite a while trying to come up with an acceptable (to me) way of framing the issue, and I have been unsuccessful.
The "working mom" issue now presents itself to us in the form of a poll published by the Pew Research Center. I first heard about the poll as a "teaser" on my local newscast. The newsreader said, "a new poll shows that working mothers prefer to work part-time." To which my response was, "DUH!" But then I decided to take a look at the poll for myself.
The first thing that struck me was that the actual title of the report is: "From 1997 to 2007: Fewer Mothers Prefer Full-time Work." "Hmmm," I immediately thought, "there goes the media, again, slanting the issue and framing it for it's own purpose." While it's true, the results of the poll show that "working mothers prefer to work part-time," there are a number of other aspects of the poll that I find interesting.
One thing that makes this poll interesting to me is that the questions were framed as "what is the ideal situation for you." I wish the issue would be framed this way more often. Most likely, my "ideal" and your "ideal" are going to be completely different. So, all "ideals" being equal, I find it interesting that only 19% of working mothers think that "not working" would be "ideal" for them. Purely based on the working moms I know, I would have been certain that the percentage of working moms who think their "ideal" is to not work outside of the home would have been higher.
A year ago, when I was a full-time working mother, I would have been firmly entrenched in the "not working is my ideal situation" camp. Now that I've gone back to work part-time, I realize that for me, things are better for me and my family when I work outside of the home. Eight months of staying home has made me realize that I do not make a very good full-time stay-at-home mom.
There's more I'd like to say about this poll, I really think this poll lends some insight into why the issue of being a "working mother" can be so divisive. I'm hoping to organize my thoughts for a separate entry.
But before I go, I just wanted to point out that I wish the poll had a place for the work-at-home mom (WAHM). Because for me, working at home (even just one day a week) would be my own personal ideal. (Of course, we're talking ideals here, where the work actually gets done during normal hours.)
The "working mom" issue now presents itself to us in the form of a poll published by the Pew Research Center. I first heard about the poll as a "teaser" on my local newscast. The newsreader said, "a new poll shows that working mothers prefer to work part-time." To which my response was, "DUH!" But then I decided to take a look at the poll for myself.
The first thing that struck me was that the actual title of the report is: "From 1997 to 2007: Fewer Mothers Prefer Full-time Work." "Hmmm," I immediately thought, "there goes the media, again, slanting the issue and framing it for it's own purpose." While it's true, the results of the poll show that "working mothers prefer to work part-time," there are a number of other aspects of the poll that I find interesting.
One thing that makes this poll interesting to me is that the questions were framed as "what is the ideal situation for you." I wish the issue would be framed this way more often. Most likely, my "ideal" and your "ideal" are going to be completely different. So, all "ideals" being equal, I find it interesting that only 19% of working mothers think that "not working" would be "ideal" for them. Purely based on the working moms I know, I would have been certain that the percentage of working moms who think their "ideal" is to not work outside of the home would have been higher.
A year ago, when I was a full-time working mother, I would have been firmly entrenched in the "not working is my ideal situation" camp. Now that I've gone back to work part-time, I realize that for me, things are better for me and my family when I work outside of the home. Eight months of staying home has made me realize that I do not make a very good full-time stay-at-home mom.
There's more I'd like to say about this poll, I really think this poll lends some insight into why the issue of being a "working mother" can be so divisive. I'm hoping to organize my thoughts for a separate entry.
But before I go, I just wanted to point out that I wish the poll had a place for the work-at-home mom (WAHM). Because for me, working at home (even just one day a week) would be my own personal ideal. (Of course, we're talking ideals here, where the work actually gets done during normal hours.)
Wednesday
IH8KIDS
This was a bumper sticker that I saw today on the way to work.
I don't know why, but it absolutely SHOCKED me. When I rolled up next to the person driving the late model, beat up, silver Pontiac Bonneville, I was stunned to see that the person driving was a late 20s maybe early 30s male. He had thick, black rimmed glasses, but that's about all I could see of his face because he kept turning his head away from me as I tried to (inconspicuoulsy) stare at him. I just had to see what kind of person would go to the Secretary of State's Office to request a license plate that announces to the world that he "H8KIDS"!
I'm also kind of surprised that the Secretary of State's Office would allow him to have such a plate, but I guess there's really no basis to deny it.
I don't know why, but it absolutely SHOCKED me. When I rolled up next to the person driving the late model, beat up, silver Pontiac Bonneville, I was stunned to see that the person driving was a late 20s maybe early 30s male. He had thick, black rimmed glasses, but that's about all I could see of his face because he kept turning his head away from me as I tried to (inconspicuoulsy) stare at him. I just had to see what kind of person would go to the Secretary of State's Office to request a license plate that announces to the world that he "H8KIDS"!
I'm also kind of surprised that the Secretary of State's Office would allow him to have such a plate, but I guess there's really no basis to deny it.
Tuesday
Happy Anniversary!
Eight years and counting.
He gave me one of the best surprise presents I've received in a long time... tickets to the POLICE concert. I am so excited!!
I gave him a grill... one that he: (1) picked out, (2) purchased, (3) had to find a friend to loan him a truck to transport, (3) had to ask his brother-in-law to help load and unload from the truck, and then (4) had to put together! I'm AWESOME!
At least he gets to come to the POLICE concert with me.
He gave me one of the best surprise presents I've received in a long time... tickets to the POLICE concert. I am so excited!!
I gave him a grill... one that he: (1) picked out, (2) purchased, (3) had to find a friend to loan him a truck to transport, (3) had to ask his brother-in-law to help load and unload from the truck, and then (4) had to put together! I'm AWESOME!
At least he gets to come to the POLICE concert with me.
Friday
Back to Work
The silence around this blog has been deafening.
I could make up all sorts of excuses, but when it comes down to it, I've been in a funk... a deep, deep, horrible funk that lasted all winter long. In the past, journaling helped me emerge from my funks, but this time, I didn't even have the strength to write about what I was going through.
So, I've decided to go back to work... I found a part-time job with a small firm in RO. It's only temporary, but there's always a chance that I'll be so valuable that they'll just have to keep me on board long-term. (If it works on both ends, I can hope, right!)
Maybe as I emerge from my funk (which hopefully I will continue to do), I can post a few thoughts on what was bothering me.
I could make up all sorts of excuses, but when it comes down to it, I've been in a funk... a deep, deep, horrible funk that lasted all winter long. In the past, journaling helped me emerge from my funks, but this time, I didn't even have the strength to write about what I was going through.
So, I've decided to go back to work... I found a part-time job with a small firm in RO. It's only temporary, but there's always a chance that I'll be so valuable that they'll just have to keep me on board long-term. (If it works on both ends, I can hope, right!)
Maybe as I emerge from my funk (which hopefully I will continue to do), I can post a few thoughts on what was bothering me.
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