I Quit!

Two words. That's it. That's all it took. Well, actually, in keeping with my penchant for being rather wordy, I think it came out more like "I'm tendering my resignation today," but that doesn't have the same ring as "I quit!" (And, let's face it, I needed something a little more catchy for my first post.) The end result, however, is still the same... as of Friday, August 4, 2006, I will no longer be employed.

I will stay home with my 2 kids. I will cook and clean and do the laundry and iron the clothes. I will wipe runny noses, mend bruised egos, and play "crash the cars" with my two year old. We will go to the library, to the pool, to the zoo, to the park, and, if I can make some friends, we'll go on playdates. None of this will be easy for me.

People who know me as a "working professional with 2 young children," have often said to me, "I don't know how you do it." Frankly, I haven't been "doing it" very well for the last 6 months. Sure, on the outside looking in it seems like our family "has it all"... fancy cars, a nice big house in the suburbs, a great nanny for the kids, a super cleaning lady. But, in my opinion (the only one that counts) I've neither excelled at my chosen profession nor excelled at being a mom. One had to give. Obviously, I can't give up my kids, so for now, it's the profession.

I've agonized about whether or not to quit my job and stay home with the kids for the last 3 years. Making the decision and finally following through brought me a sense of relief. I know this relief will only be temporary. It will last until I truly have to start making the sacrifices that come with giving up my paycheck. It will last until the fear sets in (and yes, it has already started creeping in) that I may never go back to work in my chosen profession, an "honorable profession" that for the better part of my career, I truly enjoyed. But, for now, in the short term, this is the right decision for our family. In the long term, whether this decision turns out to be the best for me, personally, only time will tell. Of course, as with any decision we make in life, the long term consequences are unknown.

I keep telling myself that it can't be wrong to want to stay home with my kids.